![]() He isn’t bothered by what I would feel claustrophobic in, and so I avoid this space, and he has the flexibility to store what he wishes. My husband’s home office, which is out of sight, collects legos, and work items. When the drawer gets too full, she asks them to clean it out. They avoid the “have you seen my” conversation because the guys know exactly where to look. When she is picking stuff up from around the house, it goes into the drawer. A client of mine keeps two drawers for her husband and son so they can ‘store’ their clutter. It makes me feel (overwhelmed, angry, anxious), and I need help to keep our main living spaces clear of it.”įrom here, talking about a “designated drop zone” for his excess stuff can help to curb your anxiety about the clutter. “I know the clutter in our home is not very bothersome to you, and that’s okay, but it’s important to me that you understand that it is very bothersome to me. So your husband is probably not affected by the piles of papers and shoes that gather at your door.īeing armed with this piece of information may lead you to have a conversation that sounds something like this. We have to remember that not everyone is bothered by clutter, and in fact, a Yale study proved that men do not have the same stress reaction to disorganization that women do. Having a conversation with your spouse about how clutter is making you feel will be an essential step. You’ll know if you found a “kinda community” space if you don’t feel like you need to ask your spouse’s opinion on its contents, and it doesn’t contain items that are specifically his only. These spaces are the best next go-to area to declutter because our spouses likely don’t know or care what’s in them. Think linen closets, coat closets, laundry room drawers and cabinets, and possibly the kitchen cabinets too. These are spaces that house things everyone might use, but are typically maintained and accesses 95% of the time by you. And then we have “family spaces” like the living room, kitchen and dining room that everyone uses.īut, tucked into the nooks and crannies of our homes, we have “kinda community” spaces. We have spaces in our home that are “his and hers” – think nightstands, closets shelves, bathroom cabinets or drawers, or maybe even home offices. If you can’t get a team effort, carve out personal pockets of sanity first. Starting with our clothing, craft supplies, excess shoes, or bedside tables helps you to regain control and sanity in the places that affect only you. But, since we can’t convince our spouse to clear it out, we need to lead by example and tackle our own spaces first. If you tend to be the one picking up around the house, you might find yourself mumbling four-letter words under your breath or plotting to have a bonfire that is fueled by all the ‘stuff’ you keep returning to your spouse’s space.Īll this frustration is probably causing you to be a little extra annoyed by their stuff. This is especially true if you handle the majority of the household chores. It’s much easier for us to see other people’s clutter than it is to see our own. Start with youĭo you know that bible verse that talks about calling out the speck in someone’s eye when you have a plank in yours? Yeah, it’s not fun to think about it, but if clutter is overwhelming you there’s a good chance it’s everyone’s stuff, including yours. You’ll need to lead by example and use a few tactics to get him on your side. The truth is you are not likely going to convince your husband to declutter by pleading, explaining, or convincing. And I’ll share some tips directly from MY husband that helped him to come along on this journey with me. But, stick with me, and you’ll see why riding this out and gently encouraging are going to be the best path. ![]() Whether you are dealing with a spouse or a reluctant kid, patience is your go-to here. Doing so will only set this process back and cause mistrust and discord between you. Do not, in any case, donate or throw out your spouse’s belonging without a conversation. Word Of Warningīefore we get started, I would be remiss not to offer this one piece of advice upfront. What’s a girl to do if you want simplicity, but you have a spouse that collects, hoards, or otherwise ignores clutter all together? It’s not always an easy process, but I’m going to share some ideas that have worked for me and some of my organizing clients to move the needle in the right direction. Your clutter is leaving you overwhelmed, exhausted, and honestly really ticked off a little annoyed with your family members. You’ve finally reached the point that you are craving LESS in your life.
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